Howling Drunk
January 7, 2008
But what if the drunken party animal IS a dog? A three-year-old, 40 kilogram (88 lb) Labrador Retriever named Bingo, to be exact?
That question recently arose in Austria, after a hunter in the mountain town of Bad Goisern realized his trusty pet could barely stay on its feet.
He rushed the dog to the vet, complaining that along with all the bobbing and weaving, the animal's breath "smelled more like a beer garden than a doghouse."
Fermentation Follies
Had Bingo gone on a binge-o? Perhaps in an effort to forget his name-o?
Oh, no. The hunter's liquor stocks were all accounted for. What was missing, though, was a half a kilo (1 lb.) of freshly prepared bread dough, which never quite made it from the rising board into the oven.
Instead, it fermented inside the hungry hound's stomach until -- bingo! -- the dog was stinking drunk.
Not fit to drive
The clinic veterinarian said Bingo had a blood-alcohol level of 1.6 per mille which, if he weren't a canine, would have also put him well past Austria's legal driving limit of 0.5 per mille. (Not to mention how hard it would be to take a decent drivers' license photo.)
Bingo's owner took the situation in stride. "Some catty people say hunters are often drunk," he said. "In my case, it's the dog."
Which leaves one to wonder about the incident, some two years ago, in which US Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally mistook his hunting buddy for a quail and fired a round of birdshot into his chest.
The big news was Cheney's late-day admission that he had drunk a beer at lunch prior to the incident. Next time, investigators may want to probe just how many dinner rolls the Veep downs with his barbecue.