War on two fronts

The families and partners of soldiers despatched to international conflict zones must often live with the very real fear their loved ones may not come home. And so the military chaplaincy of the German armed forces, the Bundeswehr, has launched a project to help families cope with the pressure this puts on their lives and relationships.

More than 7,000 German soldiers are currently serving on overseas missions, more than half of them in Afghanistan. In that country, the German troops are stationed in the relatively quiet north but that doesn't mean they're safe. So far, 40 German soldiers and members of the police force have lost their lives.

The priests who accompany the German troops say this can also place a huge emotional burden on soldiers' families back home. For this reason, the Catholic military bishopric has started a new program to help prepare families for the stresses of seeing loved ones sent away to conflict zones.

A helping hand

The project's leader, Peter Wendl, says part of the task involves talking with military priests and couples who have already experienced foreign assignments. He says a part of the problem is that couples often don't talk about how they feel when one of them is sent away.

"Throughout the interviews, it seemed that the fears of one partner or the other weren't articulated because they were incapable of expressing them or too insecure or because they felt helpless," he says, "which naturally affected their relationships and their family life."

Wendl says that the fears a soldier experiences when on a dangerous patrol must be aired, and so should the fears a husband or wife back in Germany may have that they could lose their partner and end up having to raise their children alone.

"We find that couples feel unbelievable relief when they get help in our seminars, and when they are given the chance to articulate their fears," he says.

Wendl has developed a training plan for the military chaplaincy which he hopes will make couples better able to cope with the stresses of foreign assignment. The plan includes a step-by-step guide to the types of situations and crises they might go through during missions.

But Wendl warns that the church is unable to do all the work for couples and families. He says the best way to safeguard emotional wellbeing is to stay positive about the mission, and remain committed.

The burden of uncertainty

Military dean Monsignor Rainer Schadt has been accompanying German soldiers to crisis regions around the world since 1992. When it comes to Germany's current mission in Afghanistan, he says military chaplains are witnessing a new challenge.

"Increasingly we're seeing not only experienced troops returning home, but also troops that have seen combat," he says. "This means we have another field to plough. Soldiers return home without having sustained injuries themselves, but rather have had to injure, and sometimes even kill, others in carrying out their duties.

"How families and soldiers deal with this phenomenon back at home is going to be a big part of our work in the future," he adds.

The fear of knowing that a loved one is an enemy target can be an overwhelming burden, says this woman, whose partner served with the Bundeswehr on three tours of duty abroad.

"I was afraid of what could happen, what could happen to him - the possibility that he may come back a different person from who he was when he left. The fact that he could lose a leg or an arm, or be killed. Of course, these are the fears we have," she says.

Author: Brigitte Lehnhoff/dfm

Editor: Susan Houlton